AOL to 1,300 employees: Goodbye!

The Associated Press reports the ax is falling at AOL:

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — AOL announced Wednesday it will lay off 1,300 employees by closing call centers in New Mexico and Arizona as part of a previously announced restructuring plan.

AOL, the Time Warner Inc. online unit formerly known as America Online, also plans to sell its call center in Ogden, Utah.

The cuts include 900 layoffs at the Albuquerque call center and 400 jobs at the center in Tucson, Ariz., AOL spokesman Nicholas Graham said. The Arizona and New Mexico call centers each have operated for 10 years.

Now, let me get this straight. The powers that be at AOL are trying to get rid of their customer-service people. Well . . . good luck to them on that (snicker, snort, guffaw).

AOL manager: Cory, I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but we’re letting you go.

Customer-service guy: Now, may I ask why you’re considering letting me go? We have some excellent incentive packages in place if you keep me on.

AOL manager: Cory, you’re not understanding, here. The center is closing. You’re fired. Your job is gone in two weeks. The decision has been made.

Customer-service guy: Is there a specific reason why you’re dissatisfied with my service today? Let me just renew my contract for another six months right now, and I think we have a one-month free offer in place if you keep me on.

AOL manager: Listen! Cut the bait-and-switch crap! You. Are. Out. Of. Here. Fired. Canned. Gesphincto. Toast. Disconnected. Done dealin’. We will be giving you two weeks’ severance pay upon your separation.

Customer-service guy: Let’s not be hasty. You’ve had my service, according to our records, for three years now. Obviously you have received some value from that association. So, let’s see what we can work out. Now, at what point did you become dissatisfied with the association. I’m sure this matter is easily rectifiable.

AOL manager: Get out! You are fired! Get out! GET OUT, DAMN YOU! BE GONE! SECURITY! SECURITY!

Customer-sevice guy: I understand that you may be upset . . . .

AOL manager: Get . . . the . . . &*%$ . . . outta here!!! SECURITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Security guard: Yes sir?

AOL manager: This man has been laid off but won’t leave. Could you please remove him from the premises immediately?

Security guard: May I ask what the nature of your complaint is? I understand Cory has an excellent incentive package in place . . . .

War on Terror ends; Terror wins

Didn’t my old man fight in a war against this kind of thing?

From MSNBC:

I want to start by asking you about a specific part of this act that lists one of the definitions of an unlawful enemy combatant as, quote, “a person who, before, on, or after the date of the enactment of the Military Commissions Act of 2006, has been determined to be an unlawful enemy combatant by a combatant status review tribunal or another competent tribunal established under the authority of the president or the secretary of defense.”

Does that not basically mean that if Mr. Bush or Mr. Rumsfeld say so, anybody in this country, citizen or not, innocent or not, can end up being an unlawful enemy combatant?

JONATHAN TURLEY, GEORGE WASHINGTON UNIVERSITY CONSTITUTIONAL LAW PROFESSOR: It certainly does. In fact, later on, it says that if you even give material support to an organization that the president deems connected to one of these groups, you too can be an enemy combatant.

And the fact that he appoints this tribunal is meaningless. You know, standing behind him at the signing ceremony was his attorney general, who signed a memo that said that you could torture people, that you could do harm to them to the point of organ failure or death.

So if he appoints someone like that to be attorney general, you can imagine who he’s going be putting on this board.

IF, FOR EXAMPLE, someone were to say a hypothetical U.S. president were doing a frighteningly good impression of Il Duce, it would seem that whether that someone went to Guantanamo or not would be entirely dependent on how mad that hypothetical U.S. president was over being compared to Benito Mussolini.

So we must channel our inner cowering peasant and not be unduly critical of our betters. It could get real fatal, real fast.

I’m just sayin’ that we appear to have pretty much become what we profess to hate. God help us.